About community, safety, and belonging

For as long as I can remember, I have been organizing parties and gatherings.
As a child, transforming the family garage into a dance floor for my birthday, Carnival, Halloween.

As a teen, sleepovers, summer camping at the beach, New Year’s Eves.
As a young adult, my apartments became places to gather — for pre-drinks before going out, for friends’ dinners, or for any reason I could come up with.

My blood family isn’t big. There are stories, wounds, hurt, drama, trauma — Christmas and vacations were just the four of us: my mom, dad, and brother — and it has always been my favorite. Although I can see we weren’t the perfect family and I carry my own load of childhood wounds, it felt safe to be in this little cocoon. We had our own traditions, our own way of doing things that felt true to us — going to the movies on Christmas Eve before sharing a meal, for example.

❄️

For a few years now, I’ve been celebrating the Solstice at Temple Nova (in Ottawa), Christmas with Ecstatic Temple in Montreal, and New Year’s Eve in a small, intentional group setting with close friends.

This year again, we were 19 at Temple Nova’s three-day Solstice gathering, and 34 of us at Ecstatic Temple for a deeply shamanic ritual on the night of the 24th.
On New Year’s Eve, we’ll be 8 gathering for an intentional and ritualistic transition — the close tribe, those with whom I shared meaningful experiences this year.

A community gathering.
A chosen family.
A tribe.

This year more than ever, my heart cracked open on so many occasions within these communities.
I wish to share more — I still don’t have the words.

❤️‍🔥

What I’ve realized over the years, whether intentionally or not, is that I create spaces where people can be themselves — and be loved.
Spaces where people can feel at home within themselves and with others.
Spaces where people feel safe enough to be.
Spaces to belong.

Maybe that’s what young Elodie was longing for when she was throwing themed birthday parties.

Maybe growing up with the feeling of being an outsider in every group I belonged to, that’s what I was seeking for myself — a sense of having a place in this world.
Me, and all my awkwardness.

🖤

But the truth is — I can’t create safety.
Safety is a deeply internal feeling, one that can be supported by an environment.
The environment may be initiated by me — but the question becomes: how can I make myself safer?

For that to happen, I needed to feel it within my own being — the love, the safety, the belonging.

In 2025, I fell in love with myself.
I found home in my own being.
I realized I belong — always.

I no longer force myself to be what I am not.
I listen.
I respond.
I make mistakes.
I repair.
I learn.

And even when I can’t repair, even when I’m facing projections I can’t change, I trust.
I trust there is a way, somewhere.
I trust it’s not about me.
I trust that if I stay true and aligned, what needs to emerge will emerge.

And my communities are reflecting that back to me.

I have changed.

As I’ve felt safer within myself, I’ve softened.
I’m more available.
More open.
Open to give.
Open to receive.

I feel the love —
and there is so much available.