The Good, the Bad, the Ugly

We all love a good drama story - someone did something to someone else, makes them a villain, and the other, victim. Above all, a witness, who's watching and takes side. Poor victim, I'm gonna save you.

The victim gets the attention. The villain has control. The rescuer feels important, worthwhile.
I know the drill. I've been in in each roles, many times - and more. I became a master at bringing my rescuer, through love and compassion - a a bit of smothering - aking mysekf a martur. I've suffreed so much, and I can still love!
I know the victim - mine is a victim-bully. I don't like being a victim. I juge them, for the lack of empowerment and self-responsibility. For 17 years I haven't been able to acknowlege the abuse I experienced at my teenage, cause it felt more empowering to be responsible for what happened to me.
And though, everywhere I was screaming for help, my trauma responses all over the place, indulging in my pain and pointing myself or others as the malfunctioning piece, giving away my power and causing harm.

It was terrifying to have power! Consciously. So dangerous to claim it, to see myself as who I am, that I'd rather create and entertain stories where I was powerless.

There is entitlement in the victim,
I suffered so much, I endurer, I gave so much... you owe me. I needed to be seen, to feel my worth.

I mentioned the victim-bully, there we are. Unconscious power, need for validation, entitlement : perfect recipe to make a persecutor. I was most of the time unaware of the impact of my actions and words. Being my worst critic, I regularly entered a mindspace of power struggle, control, competition.
Trying to get out of the victim, and reclaim my sovereignety. Don't we all want to be treated with respect, held with worth and love? So how dare you treat me like this?
Someone has to be made wrong, responsible - either you, or me.

Oh the stories I told myself. Keeping myself small for the purpose of entertaining this perfect dynamic.

Because there IS connection in this triangle. Every role has its perks. Everyone feels feed. There is dynamic, shift, movement, energy exchange. It feels alive. And everyone is involved, shifting roles and postures, keeping the triangle alive.

Looking at this triangle from outside, there is a question : how do we get out? How do we bring back balance, for the victim to grow into creator, for an oportunity to arise for all? How do we separate the bad from the ugly, bring compassion, care and accountability in the process?

as a collective, lets look at our role in every storyline. We've been acculturated in this triangle. We love romance, drama, judging others, and feeling good. How do we hold each other in love and integrity?